Works well near Valentine’s Day…

submitted by: Ken Forbes

This is my all-time favourite children’s address. Start (before showing the paper) with a little mental arithmetic. Ask a few questions like: ‘If I have five Smarties and I give two to you and one to you, how many do I have left?’ (I found our kids to be a lot better at this that I’d thought they’d be, and ended up giving them some quite complicated sums. There’s hope for our education system yet!)
Then show the paper with GOD’S LOVE on it.
“Here’s something we’ve ALL got to give away – God’s love. And you can see that God’s Love has four corners – doesn’t it. Well now, here’s a strange thing. Suppose I give you one of my corners of God’s Love. (Take a pair of scissors from your pocket, cut of one of the corners, and give it to a child.) How many corners do I have left – Three? Are you SURE? Let’s count them. One, two, three, four, FIVE! How about that! I started with four corners of God’s Love, I gave one away, and now I’ve got FIVE! Let’s see what happens if I give away another one. (Cut and give) NOW how many have I got? One, two, three, four, five, six. It seems as if I end up with MORE corners of God’s Love every time I give one away. I started with FOUR, and I gave one to you… I did give you ONE, didn’t I? Are you sure? Just hold up the corner of God’s Love that I gave you and let’s have a look at it. (Child holds up her triangle.) LOOK! Count the corners. One, two, THREE. And have YOU got three as well? Yes! We started off with FOUR corners of God’s Love, and now we’ve got… how many? TWELVE! How did that happen? It must be that the more of God’s Love you give away, the bigger it gets…”

PS: – keep on going and you get a circle – God’s love encircling us!

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Two eggs needed. One normal, one ‘blown’. (Google if don’t know how) Start the talk with the great Easter Day and how the tomb which they thought would be full was empty. Think how surprised the women were when they saw it was empty. Often talk about eggs at Easter etc. I’ve got an egg here and a badminton racket. Now look I’m going to try and hit this egg to the back of the church. Throw egg up and deliberately miss. (Egg splaters all over a tray) Oh dear I missed that one. Lets try again. Take blown egg and this time hit it of course its just bits of shell. The look of horror that passes children’s faces when you hit it is amazing. Then talk about how they all expected the egg to be full but what a surprise it was empty

required: Cracker – with hat/gift and joke.

Who’d like to pull a cracker..?
Before we do – what do you think is in it..?
What colour is the hat?
No-one knows exactly what’s inside this cracker – it’ll be a surprise…
[Pull the cracker]
Gift…  wise men brought gifts…  Jesus is God’s gift to us…
Hat…  Crown…  Jesus was born to be King
Joke…  Christmas is very serious -  no joke… and brings joy to the world

submitted: Bryan Kerr

required: Wrapped Chocolate Orange

Who likes to eat lots of food at Christmas time?
Did anyone get any sweets for Christmas this morning, perhaps in their stocking?
What sweets did you get?
I got the best sweet in the whole world. What do you think it is? Invite responses from the congregation.
It is a chocolate orange. Hands up if you like chocolate oranges? I like them because when you eat it you can almost convince yourself that because it is called an orange it is good for you … even although you know that it is not.
But I like chocolate oranges from another reason. Did you know that it helps us think about Christmas?
At Christmas time we remember that Jesus came to the world to be a king for everyone. What do kings and queens wear? Ask for responses. Whenever I think about kings and queens I always think of them wearing jewels and sparkling things – just like the wrapper around the chocolate orange.
Can anyone remember what the angels said in our reading this morning? Invite responses They said that something amazing had happened not just for some people but for the whole world. And look at the shape of our chocolate orange – it looks like our world, a very small globe because of its shape. So the chocolate orange helps us to remember that Jesus came to earth for everyone and not just those in churches or those we think are good people.
The best bit about a chocolate orange is how you eat it. Does anyone know what you need to do to get all the segments separate? Invite responses.  That’s right you have to hit it really hard or drop it from a great height. Do one of these things – maybe go up the pulpit steps and drop the orange over the side?!?
Now this is the really exciting bit of the chocolate orange. We get to open it!
Look at the orange now – it is in lots of little bits and when you take the wrapper off they all open up and we can eat them!  But I think this helps us remember what the angels said as well. When the shepherds heard the news they went straight to the stable where the baby Jesus had been born. And after they had seen the baby Jesus they went and told everyone that they met about him and shared the good news with all the people they met. You know, when we hear good news it is very difficult to keep it to ourselves and we want to tell others about it. At Christmas time we need to remember to share the good news of a king who was born for everyone in the world. We need to tell people how special the baby Jesus is and how important he is for the whole world.
And just as we need to share the story of our king, the baby Jesus, let’s share the chocolate orange – who wants a bit? …

submitted: Robin Hill

equipment: 26 Alphabet letters A-Z

Age range: Upper primary

Theme: The importance of community and of individual involvement (in society, school, church, etc.)

Preparation: Prepare 26 A4 sheets each containing a different letter of the alphabet printed in large, bold type. Bring all sheets with you, but hide the letter "I" near to yourself, and the letter "U" somewhere in the assembly hall.

Action:
Mix up and hand out the 24 alphabet cards to kids across the hall. Tell the 24 "volunteers" that they will have to pay attention as you are going to race through the alphabet in double quick time. As their letter is called out, they must hold their card up quickly, then take it down again. Having explained these rules, build up the tension with a "On your marks … set … GO!", then shout out the alphabet, both loud and very, very fast. (General mayhem ensues, though no-one notices the absence of the two letters.) This process only takes a few seconds, so try it a few times, maybe getting the teachers involved too. All good fun.

At this stage, talk a little about how the exercise started as a complete mess. Everyone, however, co-operated well with their teamwork, eventually getting the hang of raising and lowering the cards at just the right time to make the alphabet race a great success – so teamwork counts for a lot!

Then, ask everyone with a card to come out to the front and to line up in the right order. Strangely, they can’t quite do it, so prodice the missing "I" and ask for a volunteer from the remaining kids to hunt around the hall for "U".

When the last two letters are safely in place, point out that "U" and "I" ("you" and "I") are needed if group is really going to work as a great team. Yes, you and I are needed, perhaps more than we can imagine.

Before getting the kids to sit down, do one more rapid fire run through from "A" to "Z", then encourage a big round of applause, as they take their places once again.

Talk:
If any talk is needed at this point, simply speak about how you and I should always think about playing our part in the really important things of life: the worship of God, caring for those in our wider community, campaigning for justice, supporting fair trade, etc. You and I need to be involved, if life is to be complete.

An updated version: from Bryan Kerr.

A Sweet Nativity

A girl called Mary heard a WISPA, from an angel who said that she would be the Mother of God’s son. But how could this be? She was not yet married to Joseph. To have a baby now would be a TOPIC of conversation in the village. Joseph also heard of God’s plan, but before the baby arrived, political events overtook them – Joseph had to return to Bethlehem for the census – it was miles away – a MARATHON (Snickers) journey, but Joseph thought the BREAK AWAY would do her good. The Journey was long and Mary and Joseph got the MUNCHIES, so they stopped for a PICNIC. When they arrived in Bethlehem, Joseph tried to find lodgings, but CLUB after CLUB let them down – No room they all said. Eventually they were offered a little out house – it was there that the little baby was born. They checked his FINGERS and toes. He was named Jesus, which means Saviour. He was laid in a manger, lined with hay and STRAW (Sherbet straw!). There was so much LOVE, HEARTS filled.

That night, some shepherds were watching their speed GRAZE in the fields and heard TUNES in the AER – “O Glory to God in the Highest”. “That’s RANDOM” one said. The shepherds decided to take a break (KIT- KAT) from looking after the sheep. Let’s GO AHEAD and see what’s happening in Bethlehem. They ran to Bethlehem but the ground was ROCKY so they had to slow down. When they were there they found the TRIO, Joseph, Mary and Jesus, who was lying in a manger. It was not at all a NICE place; smelly and dirty; filled with ANIMALS – not really a fit place for a maternity ward. They were filled in their wonder. It was as if the STAR(s) BURST overhead. They REVELled at the thought that this child was special. Could this be just as the prophets had foretold – was this the LIONof Judah? It was getting late, AFTER EIGHT, in fact – so the shepherds returned to the hills, singing praise to God as they went and saying “what a KIND’R SURPISE that was tonight, we’re JAMMIE DODGERS, that’s for sure.”

Meanwhile in a far country, some SMARTIES, wise men were busily scanning the GALAXY, when they saw a star near the MILKY WAY. Was it MARS? No it was a special STAR (bar) – signalling the birth of a King. They travelled long and hard, and crossed a number of BORDER’s and reached Herod’s Palace – they were not embarrassed to HOBNOB with royalty. Herod was very interested – “A King has been born?” – He didn’t believe them and called theM ALL TEASERS, but just to make sure – he tried to FUDGE the issue by saying that he wanted to go and worship the baby – and told the wise men to report to him on their way back. The wise men travelled until the found Jesus and offered their BOUNTY, GOLD, frankincense, and Myrrh. Then God warned them in a dream that Herod was up to his TWIX again, seeking the child’s life. So they took the TIME OUT to return by another route. News began to RIPPLE back to Herod that the Wise Men were not coming to show him where Jesus was and stopped his scoundr–JELLY TOT plan. 

Now that’s the familiar story – the CLASSIC tale, told at Christmas. It has little to do with reindeer and FLAKES of snow and robins and a baby in a clean crib decorated with tinsel. The original story was not that NICE. Jesus was born a refugee, he was a threat, a danger – don’t miss the meaning.

Jesus was born so that ALLSORTS of people might know God’s love for them. Many people are looking for meaning and purpose – some kind of REFRESHER in life – a BOOST in difficult times. The Christmas Story really is cause for CELEBRATION, Jesus is no MINIATURE HERO!

This Christmas, tell the story and make it SNOWBALL. ORANGE* you glad God came into our world at Christmas.

 (*Aren’t… you glad)

Adapted from version below to recognise sweets and biscuits no longer on the market!

Shopping List (All available from major retailers in the UK)

Sweets

Wispa
Topic
Snickers
Munchies
Picnic
Sherbet Straw
Love Hearts
Graze Bar
Aero
Randoms
Kit-Kat
Starburst
Revels
Lion Bar
After Eight
Kinder Surprise
Smarties
Galaxy
Milky Way
Mars
Star Bar
Malteasers
Fudge
Bounty
Twix
Ripple
Jelly Tot’s
Flake
Boost
Allsorts
Refresher Bar
Boost
Celebrations
Miniature Hero’s
Chocolate Orange

Biscuits

Break Away
Club (*2)
Cadbury Fingers
Go Ahead Bar
Rocky
Trio
Nice
Animal Biscuits
Jammie Dodgers
Border Biscuits
Hob Nob’s
Gold Bar
Fox’s Classic
Time Out
Snowball

Original 2010 Version.

Required: lots of sweets!

A girl called Mary heard a WISPA, from an angel (wearing a HALO) who said that she would be the Mother of God’s son. But how could this be? She was not yet married to Joseph. To have a baby now would be a TOPIC of conversation in the village. Joseph also heard of God’s plan, but before the baby arrived, political events overtook them – Joseph had to return to Bethlehem for the census – it was miles away – a MARATHON (Snickers) journey, but Joseph thought the BREAK would do her good. When they arrived, Joseph tried to find lodgings, but CLUB after CLUB let them down – No room they all said. Eventually they were offered a little out house – it was there that the little baby was born. He was named Jesus, which means Saviour. He was laid in a manger, lined with hay and STRAW (Sherbet straw!)

That night, some shepherds, and DRIFTERS, heard TUNES in the sky. “Glory to God in the Highest”. The shepherds decided to take a break (KIT- KAT) from looking after the sheep. Let’s (GO?) and see what’s happening in Bethlehem. When they were there they found the TRIO, Joseph, Mary and Jesus, who was lying in a manger. It was not at all a NICE place; smelly and dirty – not really a fit place for a maternity ward. They were however UNITED in their wonder, they REVELled at the thought that this child was special. Could this be just as the prophets had foretold – was this the LION of Judah? It was getting late, AFTER EIGHT, in fact – so the shepherds returned to the hills – huffing and PUFFIN and singing praise to God as they went.

Meanwhile in a far country, some SMARTIES, wise men were busily scanning the GALAXY, when they saw a star near the MILKY WAY. Was it MARS? No it was a special STAR (bar) – signalling the birth of a King. They travelled long and hard and reached Herod’s Palace – they were not embarrassed to HOBNOB with royalty. Herod was very interested – “A King has been born?” – He didn’t believe them and called theM ALL TEASERS, but just to make sure – he tried to FUDGE the issue by saying that he wanted to go and worship the baby – and told the wise men to report to him on their way back. The wise men travelled until the found Jesus and offered their BOUNTY, GOLD, frankincense, and Myrrh. Then God warned them in a dream that Herod was up to his TWIX again, seeking the child’s life. So they took the TIME OUT to return by another route.

Now that’s the familiar story – the CLASSIC tale, told at Christmas. It has little to do with reindeer and FLAKES of snow and robins and a baby in a clean crib decorated with tinsel. The original story was not that NICE. Jesus was born a refugee, he was a threat, a danger – don’t miss the meaning.

Jesus was born so that ALLSORTS of people might know God’s love for them. Many people are looking for meaning and purpose – some kind of REFRESHER in life – a BOOST in difficult times. The Christmas Story really is cause for CELEBRATION, Jesus is no MINATURE HERO!